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Tools for Growing Love
with Shannon Batts

Happily married habits are very different from break-up habits in everyday and conflict communication. 

​Want to know what to do?  I've got tools and will show you how to use them. Lesbian, Straight, Gay, Non-Binary, Queer, Trans, Intersex, and trying to sort it out-all welcome!

click here for  free gift
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                         Who is this for?
Want to make your relationship better?
 
Is there that one topic you just can't get through yet?


Have a good relationship, and want some support due to being bombarded by life events, or one of you coming out trans?  

Did you think you had a good marriage but then found out your partner was having an affair? 

Tired of relationships not working out? 

​Or are you here just for the chicken video?  You'll have to find it below and I am leaving it there even though I get a little weird in it. Sometimes I give in to my inner muppet. Blame Sesame Street. I do miss my favorite chicken in that video, Athena (RIP).





                                                                   
​ How To Make Your Marriage Better?


I weed out the mess and seed great relationship strategies so you can keep everything growing well.

How is this relationship relief possible?

Much of it is that I am not guessing but have studied the research and been advance trained for many years in bringing all those happy marriage skills to you. 
​
My sense of humor helps, as well as a happy marriage that is using the same skills I will teach you!


Learn how to talk about hard topics with your loved ones so that you can have a stronger, healthier relationship that can withstand hard times, and free you up to be the best you possible, to devote yourselves to your life's mission or passion.

Did you know there is a communication safety net you have to create first before you even start working on your list of what needs addressing? This is one of several new habits that get rolled out in your 1st session.

Or did you know affair recovery or affair prevention has very specific steps? I can coach you through this gut wrenching recovery. The steps and phases are made clear from your first session. 

Have you every thought maybe this relationship is one we can invest in making healthy from as early as the engagement? 
Move your engagement over to the Happily Ever After path with research confirmed
best communication strategies. 

Learn 
specifically what to avoid to stay off the early and late divorce path.  Do you know what those differences are? Let's catch you up.

                                                             


HOW YOU CAN HELP THROUGH DONATIONS

​I have flexible rates for all clients in Oregon or California where I am licensed. 

In 2020 alone, more than 37 people received by donation support groups.

Five transgender clients (more in 2021) received free or minimal donation gender medical assessments and surgery letters, including for the unhoused.

Black clients received anti-racism grounded free relationship support. White people faced their white fragility and bubbles, and became more aware and committed, active anti-racists.

Since 2018 I committed to being a trained, volunteer facilitator (100s of hours donated) of Race Talks PDX, and developed and led my own antiracism group for white people, Accountability Friends of the Anarchist Jurisdiction.  Just kidding. It is called Accountability Friends' Antiracism Group. We can do this work 1 on 1 too.

​As one of the Race Talks PDX team of consultants, I am bringing to forums and workshops around the world-awareness and savvy to overcoming white supremacy and navigating life as BIPOC with greater support and resources. I have facilitated for lawyers and judges, new student university workshops, international mental health research conventions, community mental health international symposiums, and a police, mayor and community activist forum. Don't believe it when people say race and privilege are too hot to talk about. Many all around the world are building new understanding, relationships and actions for racial justice. White folks need to explore own bias and supremacy so as to do something about the harm, intentional or not.

If any of these things are important to you, you can hit these donate buttons and look at some options-share your resources in support of the above and more.  When you make a donation I'd love it if you'd email me so I know who it is from and what your donation is about.

​         
            Donate here via Square                                   
​Donate here via Paypal 


​Looking for a Marriage Counselor who studies and applies awareness of intersectionality, and the importance of examining her own hidden bias? Shannon is a trained and active Race Talks Facilitator in Portland, Oregon, intentionally under (completed) training (100s+ hours) and ongoing mentorship by Donna Maxey and Shaina Pomerantz, JD, MSOL.

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​WHAT ABOUT COMING OUT TRANSGENDER IN MARRIAGE?

Many don't come out for years in a marriage-and just stay miserable for fear of losing the very loved partner.

Your relationship needs the positive support for what is next and that is hard to find; support does exist.

Among the other kinds of couples I am here for, for years now, I offer professional, savvy support for couples staying together while undergoing gender transition, and for spouses navigating all the changes.

​I created support groups just for these couples and a separate one for supportive spouses. These groups remain active in 2021 onward via video meetings and retreats by donation.  Go to the 
SPOUSES RESOURCE CENTER page for more on supportive offers for those in relationships that have one person coming out transgender. 
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Need a letter in OR or CA for gender-affirmation medical care? https://relationshipgardening.com/gender-letters-portland.html

Love Habits you can do today, sent immediately (a gift from Shannon):

    You will be asked to confirm your request.

     


    EXPLORE the tabs, or use this concise list:

    Couples Communication: How to process together your conflict through an Aftermath Live Demo Workshop for most couples 
    https://relationshipgardening.com/relationship-workshops.html

    Transgender in Couples or Marriage 
    https://relationshipgardening.com/trans-in-couples.html



    Couples​ and Family of Transitioning Gender
    https://relationshipgardening.com/partners-of-transgender.html

    ​
    Partners of Trans or Non Binary Seeking Online Support see this encouraging message https://relationshipgardening.com/partners-of-transgender-online-support.html


    Reviews https://relationshipgardening.com/couples-therapist-reviews-portland.html

    ​

    MORE relationship events, classes, groups
    https://relationshipgardening.com/relationship-support-events-225015.html


    Rethinking Psychiatry and video
     
    https://relationshipgardening.com/rethinking-psychiatry-alternatives.html

    ​
    Shannon's favorite resources, referrals, extra Rethinking Psychiatry links
     
    https://relationshipgardening.com/resourcesevents.html



     Marriage Help Gift video has a Black Australorp as co-host! Watch for Athena...


    "Love Habits"   INSTANT ACCESS to communication excellence:
       *to keep your relationship thriving
         *for conflict savvy

             *for building trust
             *for better friendships
             *for marriage repair
               *for relationship success
                 *for growing healthy connections



    Place your email address in the blue box! I promise it's bigger on the inside.


    NOT TYPICAL MARRIAGE COUNSELING! 
    Most marriage help really bombs and that is a fact, Jack!  When surveyed most licensed counselors say they see couples and almost none have the training, even in grad school!!!!!!! 

    So if your partner says they don't want to talk to me because marriage counseling sucks, tell them I agree with them.

    That is why I don't do typical marriage counseling. We don't get swallowed up by the past, we don't have a passive watching you argue kind of session, & we don't only learn to listen better.

    WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE THIS KIND OF COUPLE'S SESSION?
    Think of this kind of input as an interactive class with things to do based on real people's success and help doing it on the spot. 

    Think of personal training when you have a plan of action and you do your fitness routine daily. Couples have very doable home relationship fitness to do daily that draws you closer. 

    We WILL get your stuff unpacked so that you can let it go if you have distressing events that have occurred, but in a way that you do it with each other with help at first (or till you can do it on your own) and get real understanding, validation and teamwork FROM EACH OTHER!!

    Isn't that beautiful!?!

    ​WHAT ARE THE GOALS FOR COUPLES?

    Let's get you the tools that we have gleaned from happy relationships so you can shift your communication at home for: 
    • processing conflict (instead of your knock down fight, your cold shoulder non-fight fight, or avoiding)
    • broken trust recovery work (takes more than an apology)
    • affair prevention
    • dissolving the gridlock (you can get to the underlying reasons and become allies)
    • finding a compromise (yielding is essential, but learn what not to yield)
    • building positivity daily (yes, EVERY day)
    • using positive habits for better ways of complaining, sharing power, & keeping disagreements from blowing up
    • keeping a good friendship (not just in your mind, but also in action)
    • talking about meaningful topics including sex!
    • pursuing the dreams you have for your life and your family!
     NEWS! State Licensing Board clarifies that someone from ANY state, not just Oregon can visit in person an Oregon licensed professional! Currently, in person applies to the Walk and Talks and some groups and events.

    ​I also have a CA LMFT license and can see Californians that qualify for remote, distance, video sessions for counseling or coaching.

    My state of residence is OR so rules here apply to who can see me for counseling. Add in CA since I have a license there too.

    ​OR and CA residents can receive remote, distance, video, telehealth (common terms used) counseling services with me.




    DISTANCE SESSIONS ( Click here: What is a Distance Session including video chat?)

    EVENTS
    Fun and engaging presentations are offered and can be arranged for your group, party, religious group, class, or organization e.g, an outdoor House party with demos, how fun!

    ​All offered as a masked, socially distanced outdoor gathering, or via online video meeting. 

     

    WALK N Talk -walking counseling or consultation sessions in or near Portland, OR, masked and distanced for when you are all zoomed out. (Walk & Talk)
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    email Shannon
    New Enhanced Relationship Check-Up now available with streamlined 30% less questions, an easy way to reassess progress if we'd like, and plenty of information about strengths and what to repair. Available for $39 (to Gottman Institute) for clients of Approved Member therapist Shannon Batts.
    DONATE to Relationship Gardening by clicking here to go to the checkout Square site where you can enter your donation of any amount and support resource redirection of free services to
    ​marginalized clients. 

    ​Or donate via Paypal.me/shannonbatts
    ​Thank you!
     
    Gottman Approved Member



    ​TESTIMONIALS. WOWEEEEE!
    (results not guaranteed)
     http://relationshipgardening.com/couples-therapist-reviews-portland.html
    Proud Member of TherapyDen
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    How to find a good marriage counselor?  Ask Shannon Batts in Portland, Oregon.  Note from Shannon: Make sure they have advanced training (not just degrees and licenses) with couples, can describe what they learned and how they deliver it to you, and are also HAPPILY married!

    ​Can they speak to their privilege or marginalizations and how they impact counseling with you?


    ​

    1. Oppezzo M, Schwartz DL. Give your ideas some legs: the positive effect of walking on creative thinking. J Exp Psychol Learn Mem Cogn. 2014 Jul;40(4):1142-52. doi: 10.1037/a0036577. Epub 2014 Apr 21. PMID: 24749966.

    ​2. Calogiuri G, Evensen K, Weydahl A, Andersson K, Patil G, Ihlebæk C, Raanaas RK. Green exercise as a workplace intervention to reduce job stress. Results from a pilot study. Work. 2015;53(1):99-111. doi: 10.3233/WOR-152219. PMID: 26684708.

    3. 
    What moves you? Physical activity strategies in older women
    Marily Oppezzo, Lauren Wegner, James J Gross, 
    Daniel L Schwartz, Tessa Eckley, Abby C King, Sally Mackey, Marcia L Stefanick
    First Published May 18, 2021 Research Article Find in PubMed
    https://doi.org/10.1177/13591053211014593
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    ​Shannon Batts, Licensed Professional Counselor of Portland, Oregon, lic# C2379, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for Californians, lic# MFT 34477, is Marriage Friendly, with better than neutrality toward the outcome of your life long love commitment. Shannon Batts is a Portland, Oregon counselor, with advanced skills, education and training in assisting couples (extremely rare among counselors). Lesbian, gay, trans, mixed gender identity, questioning gender, nonbinary, and straight couples of all ages seek out tools and support for their relationships from Shannon Batts. Shannon trains ongoingly to be antiracist and is a facilitator and consultant at Race Talks PDX. Transgender, Black Americans, or unhoused clients will find amazing flexibility in counseling rates if you need it because you've been through enough!


    ​

    www.couplesintransition.com
    www.spousesgroup.com
    www.spousesresourcecenter.com
    www.spousesresourcecenter.org
    www.relationshipgardening.com
    all arrive at Relationship Gardening and Spouses Resource Center so as to increase options for couples facing gender transition to have excellent support for making it through transition together.
    Couples with no LGBTQ identities also benefit by Relationship Gardening.


    verified by Psychology Today
    Electronic/internet based communication is not a guarantee of privacy as it is always subject to security breach or hacking. You do maintain the right to email, text or video chat regardless of the risk.
     Shannon is the counselor's counselor where couples go to grow a happy marriage, with Gottman research based relationship and marriage help and telehealth video sessions. Clinical hypnosis available as Shannon completed the 100-Hour Comprehensive Training in Applying Clinical Hypnosis in Strategic Psychotherapy intensive by Dr. Michael Yapko. Marriage Counseling, marriage therapy, couple's therapy, couple's coaching, premarital counseling, help for transgender or non binary coming out in marriage, support for spouses of transgender or non binary partners, couples group for transgender partners and cisgender spouses, questioning gender in your marriage, gender affirming referral letters, marriage retreats, marriage workshops, antiracist coaching for engaged couples, antiracism groups for white people, antiracism couples groups, antiracism groups for professionals, custom antiracism groups, marriage affairs or adultery, porn or sex addiction or compulsion in your marriage, couples communication training-whatever you call it-make sure your best marriage counseling choice in CA, or in Portland, Oregon has Advanced Gottman Institute aka Relationship Research Institute training.  A Gottman trained therapist like Shannon Batts knows how to move couples from sticky negativity to a garden of new possibilities from the very first couples' session.  Services available by Zoom for all of CA and OR. Walking sessions for individual meetings. relationshipgardening.com spousesresourcecenter.com