Spouse of
​Transgender or Non Binary Partner
Online Support

When you learn of your partner's gender identity transition, it is hard to know who you can talk to since it is such a private matter. Sometimes you don't yet have the freedom to talk with your friends and family if your person is not quite out. Your partner may be celebratory while you are in shock (normal), and you don't know where to take this grief. Your friends and family are sometimes clueless about how to respond in the way you need, or with love and respect as they deal with their own shock. They may need to catch up on what it all means and how best to be an ally for you and your partner.

For right now though, you as a spouses have a lot of your own questions or are just wondering, "where are the others like me?" You can meet people online who are in a similar situation or already successfully navigated through transitions. Start with the online lists, groups, and chats. The community is growing with 1.4 million transgender people in the US (Williams Institute), the current estimates...that's a lot of partners too.

The internet is full of negativity and bashing of the relationship in transition. Mute that and move on to people with success stories. Below the video you can find places to visit online to get started on reading positive stories about learning you have a transgender or gender expression changing partner. If you find some new ones that are positive-please send to Shannon to add to this page.
​For in person cisgender Spouses' Group which is meeting by live video during the pandemic (when your partner is transgender or non binary and you aren't) click here. Or watch this video I made about the Portland, Oregon Spouses' Group (also on the in person page). This group is now open to eligible folks from CA and OR and does meet weekly on a drop in basis:

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Transgender Partners

Resources for Significant Others, Friends, Family and Allies of Transgender People 

My Partner is Trans Reddit site

Click here to read the Share Your Story archived positive stories thread

Have you got a great online group?

In 2020, Spouses Group expanded for Oregonians and Californians by live video session. See the Spouses Group page for more info. 
​http://www.relationshipgardening.com/spouses-group.html
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Send info to Shannon as to how to direct spouses to your supportive online spouses group at couplescoach@gmail.com to be considered for listing here.

Remember: love remains; we'll sort the rest out together.