Spouse of
​Transgender or Non Binary Partner
Online Support

When you learn of your partner's gender identity transition, it is hard to know who you can talk to since it is such a private matter. Sometimes you don't yet have the freedom to talk with your friends and family if your person is not quite out. Your partner may be celebratory while you are in shock (normal), and you don't know where to take this grief. Your friends and family are sometimes clueless about how to respond in the way you need, or with love and respect as they deal with their own shock. They may need to catch up on what it all means and how best to be an ally for you and your partner.

For right now though, you as a spouses have a lot of your own questions or are just wondering, "where are the others like me?" You can meet people online who are in a similar situation or already successfully navigated through transitions. Start with the online lists, groups, and chats. The community is growing-1.4 million transgender people in the US (Williams Institute) are the current estimates...that's a lot of partners too.

The internet is full of negativity and bashing of the relationship in transition. Mute that and move on to people with success stories. Below the video you can find places to visit online to get started on reading positive stories about learning you have a transgender or gender expression changing partner. If you find some new ones that are positive-please let me know so I can add them to this page.
​For in person cisgender Spouses' Group which is meeting by live video during the pandemic (when your partner is transgender or non binary and you aren't) click here. Or watch this video I made about the Portland, Oregon Spouses' Group (also on the in person page):

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My Partner is Trans Reddit site

Click here to read the Share Your Story thread

engender_partners

Click here for a Yahoo online group founded and moderated by Helen Boyd (spouse) to promote discussion and community among significant others, or partners of transgender mates.

Have you got a great online group?

In 2020, Spouses Group is expanding for Oregonians and Californians by video session.  See the Spouses Group page for more info. 
​http://www.relationshipgardening.com/spouses-group.html
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Send info to Shannon as to how to direct spouses to your supportive online spouses group at couplescoach@gmail.com, and then it will be listed here.

Don't Panic FB group

Not always positive, but a place to find some folks who are supportive and making their marriage work.

Remember: love remains; we'll sort the rest out together.