Who is this for?
Anyone who wants to know how to make a relationship better...read on.
Or, do you have a good relationship, and want a wise guide in the room,
due to being bombarded by life events,
or one of you coming out trans? (look to the other side of this page about Coming Out Trans in Marriage)
Sometimes even the best of couples have that one topic we just can't get through well yet without better strategies, and structures. This is a totally doable skill!
Did you think you had a good marriage but then found out your partner was having an affair?
Did you know affair recovery or affair prevention has very specific steps? I can coach you through this gut wrenching recovery. The steps and phases are made clear from your first session.
Tired of relationships not working out and need a debrief of past ones? Or what to look for in the next one?
Or are you here just for the chicken video? You'll have to find it below and I am leaving it there even though I get a little weird in it. Sometimes I give in to my inner muppet. Blame Sesame Street. I do miss my favorite chicken in that video, Athena (RIP).
How Do I Make My Marriage Better?
Weed out the mess and seed great relationship strategies so you can keep everything growing well. Very specific things need to go, and very specific habits need to come on in. You can learn this!
How is this relationship relief possible? What's the secret to better relationships?
Much of it is that I am not guessing but have studied the research and been advance trained for many years in bringing all those happy relationship skills to you, and do.
My sense of humor helps, as well as a happy marriage that is using the same skills I will teach you!
Learn how to talk about hard topics with your loved ones so that you can have a stronger, healthier relationship that can withstand hard times, and free you up to be the best you possible, to devote yourselves to your life's mission or passion.
Did you know there is a communication safety net you have to create first before you even start working on your list of what needs addressing? This is one of several new habits that get rolled out in your 1st session.
Have you every thought maybe this relationship is one you can invest in making healthy from as early as the engagement?
Move your engagement over to the Happily Ever After path with research confirmed best communication strategies.
Learn specifically what to avoid to stay off the early and late divorce path. Do you know what those differences are? Let's catch you up.
HOW YOU CAN HELP THROUGH DONATIONS
I have flexible rates for all clients in Oregon or California where I am licensed.
To have a solid commitment to lowering barriers to getting support for relationships, my groups from the very beginning have been by donation.
Transgender clients received free or minimal donation gender medical assessments and surgery letters, including for the unhoused.
Black clients received anti-racism grounded free (some prefer to donate) relationship support.
Since 2018 I committed to being a trained, volunteer facilitator (100s of hours donated) for RaceTalksPDX, and developed and led my own antiracism group for white people, Accountability Friends of the Anarchist Jurisdiction. Just kidding. It is called Accountability Friends' Antiracism Group. We can do this work 1 on 1 too.
White people faced their white fragility and bubbles, and became more aware and committed, active anti-racists.
As one of the RaceTalksPDX team of consultants, I am bringing to forums and workshops around the world-awareness and savvy to overcoming white supremacy and navigating life as BIPOC with greater support and resources. I have facilitated for lawyers and judges, new student university workshops, international mental health research conventions, community mental health international symposiums, and a police, mayor and community activist forum. Don't believe it when people say race and privilege are too hot to talk about. Many all around the world are building new understanding, relationships and actions for racial justice. White folks need to explore own bias and supremacy so as to do something about the harm, intentional or not.
If any of these things are important to you, you can hit these donate buttons and look at some options-share your resources in support of the above and more. When you make a donation I'd love it if you'd email me so I know who it is from and what your donation is about.
Donate here via Square Donate here via Paypal
WHAT ABOUT COMING OUT TRANSGENDER IN MARRIAGE?
Many don't come out for years in a marriage-and just stay miserable or closeted, sometimes even to themselves for fear of losing their very loved partner.
Your relationship needs the positive support for what is next and that is hard to find; support does exist and many couples find their way together and wouldn't choose anyone else than each other for their happily ever after.
Among the other kinds of couples I am here for, for many years now, I offer professional, savvy support for couples staying together while undergoing gender transition, and for spouses navigating all the changes.
I created support groups just for these couples and a separate one for supportive spouses. Support groups remain active via video meetings and outdoor retreats, by donation.
Go to the SPOUSES RESOURCE CENTER page for more on supportive offers for those in relationships that have one person coming out transgender.
Need a letter in OR or CA for gender-affirmation medical care? (waitlist)
NOT TYPICAL MARRIAGE COUNSELING!
Most marriage help really bombs and that is a fact, Jack! When surveyed most licensed counselors say they see couples and almost none have the training, even in grad school!!!!!!!
So if your partner says they don't want to talk to me because marriage counseling sucks, tell them I agree with them.
That is why I don't do typical marriage counseling. We don't get swallowed up by the past, we don't have a passive watching you argue kind of session, & we don't only learn to listen better.
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE THIS KIND OF COUPLE'S SESSION?
Think of this kind of input as an interactive class with things to do based on real people's success and help doing it on the spot.
Think of personal training when you have a plan of action and you do your fitness routine daily. Couples have very doable home relationship fitness to do daily that draws you closer.
We WILL get your stuff unpacked so that you can let it go if you have distressing events that have occurred, but in a way that you do it with each other with help at first (or till you can do it on your own) and get real understanding, validation and teamwork FROM EACH OTHER!!
Isn't that beautiful!?!
WHAT ARE THE GOALS FOR COUPLES?
Let's get you the tools that we have gleaned from happy relationships so you can shift your communication at home for:
EXPLORE the tabs, or use this concise list:
Couples Communication: How to process together your conflict through an Aftermath Live Demo Workshop for most couples https://relationshipgardening.com/relationship-workshops.html
Transgender in Couples or Marriage
Couples and Family of Transitioning Gender
Partners of Trans or Non Binary Seeking Online Support see this encouraging message https://relationshipgardening.com/partners-of-transgender-online-support.html
MORE relationship events, classes, groups
Rethinking Psychiatry and video
Shannon's favorite resources, referrals, extra Rethinking Psychiatry links
Marriage Help Gift video has a Black Australorp as co-host! Watch for Athena...
"Love Habits" INSTANT ACCESS to communication excellence:
*to keep your relationship thriving
*for conflict savvy
*for building trust
*for better friendships
*for marriage repair
*for relationship success
*for growing healthy connections
Place your email address in the blue box! I promise it's bigger on the inside.
NEWS! State Licensing Board clarifies that someone from ANY state, not just Oregon can visit in person an Oregon licensed professional! Currently, in person applies to the Walk and Talks and some groups and events.
I also have a CA LMFT license and can see Californians that qualify for remote, distance, video sessions for counseling or coaching.
My state of residence is OR so rules here apply to who can see me for counseling. Add in CA since I have a license there too.
OR and CA residents can receive remote, distance, video, telehealth (common terms used) counseling services with me.
DISTANCE SESSIONS ( Click here: What is a Distance Session including video chat?)
Fun and engaging presentations are offered and can be arranged for your group, party, religious group, class, or organization e.g, an outdoor House party with demos, how fun!
All offered as a masked, socially distanced outdoor gathering, or via online video meeting.
WALK N Talk -walking counseling or consultation sessions in or near Portland, OR, masked and distanced for when you are all zoomed out. (Walk & Talk)