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Pandemic Workaround Expands Support for Transgender Coming Out in Marriage By Opening Statewide for Oregon and California

8/9/2021

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Support groups for the partners of someone in a mutually supportive marriage or long term relationship that comes out transgender (this includes non-binary) are rare. Spouses Group, launched in 2016, pre-pandemic, met in person and although members rolled on in from all directions, once even a 4 hour drive away, the offer was not reachable by the rest of Oregon and California. As a professional, my groups are offered to those in the states I am licensed in-thus CA and OR.  Like most other counselors, I moved my services to virtual meetings aka telehealth, through Zoom video meetings. Voila! Now members are from as far south as San Diego, CA!

The other workaround is doing more Walk and Talks-individual sessions while walking. Walking is not offered for groups, obviously, but a big relief from the constant screen time, to expand the walking meetings for individuals now that nearly everything has gone to video meetings. Originally, years ago, my combat veteran clients and introverts especially preferred walking sessions-something I offered when their fidgeting and self soothing nonverbals where spiking. Turns out there are creative boosts and health benefits from walking meetings, and yes, the vets and others did feel better to talk while walking. 

Lack of childcare was a constant barrier when in person-to the point that I hired someone to hang out with clients' kids when my office was in a 2 story house and I was the only one using it on the weekends. Many of my clients have children at home, from babies to teens. Virtual meetings are frustrating for school and work combos, but allow the parents to do sessions when kids are sleeping or occupied with a movie in another room. Several couples nearly to divorce, repaired their marriage because they could finally get going on their sessions via Zoom.

When a partner comes out trans, that first phase is super rough for many and having an accepting community to turn to that TOTALLY gets all the mixed feelings and grief, as well as can celebrate the breakthroughs-it is life and relationship saving!

Quite a few people transitioning gender and their spouses that have been in touch with me for relationship support are engineers, former military, IT, teachers, accountants, as well as lawyers, therapists and doctors. Not sure why these professions in particular-but there is a trend. All group members are prescreened.

If we could just get the word out---hmmm, wonder if that's you who can let others, other organizations, workplaces, social media circles and lists know of this by donation, totally supportive group? 

Shannon Batts/she
Portland, OR
for CA and OR clients

relationshipgardening.com
​spousesresourcecenter.org
​couplescoach@gmail.com



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    Shannon Batts, Relationship Gardener, Portland, Oregon. 

    Marriage help or LGBTQi? and straight couples that aims to keep growing out of heterosexism, racism, ageism, SESism (I made that one up because economist doesn't fit)  to be a better listener, in support of the value of curiosity, connection, and intimacy without constant distraction, uh... can you put the phone down please?


    Oh, and adopt a houserabbit!

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New Enhanced Relationship Check-Up now available with streamlined 30% less questions, an easy way to reassess progress if we'd like, and plenty of information about strengths and what to repair. Available for $39 (to Gottman Institute) for clients of Approved Member therapist Shannon Batts.
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How to find a good marriage counselor?  Ask Shannon Batts in Portland, Oregon.  Note from Shannon: Make sure they have advanced training (not just degrees and licenses) with couples, can describe what they learned and how they deliver it to you, and are also HAPPILY married!

​Can they speak to their privilege or marginalizations and how they impact counseling with you?


​

1. Oppezzo M, Schwartz DL. Give your ideas some legs: the positive effect of walking on creative thinking. J Exp Psychol Learn Mem Cogn. 2014 Jul;40(4):1142-52. doi: 10.1037/a0036577. Epub 2014 Apr 21. PMID: 24749966.

​2. Calogiuri G, Evensen K, Weydahl A, Andersson K, Patil G, Ihlebæk C, Raanaas RK. Green exercise as a workplace intervention to reduce job stress. Results from a pilot study. Work. 2015;53(1):99-111. doi: 10.3233/WOR-152219. PMID: 26684708.

3. 
What moves you? Physical activity strategies in older women
Marily Oppezzo, Lauren Wegner, James J Gross, 
Daniel L Schwartz, Tessa Eckley, Abby C King, Sally Mackey, Marcia L Stefanick
First Published May 18, 2021 Research Article Find in PubMed
https://doi.org/10.1177/13591053211014593
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​Shannon Batts, Licensed Professional Counselor of Portland, Oregon, lic# C2379, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for Californians, lic# MFT 34477, is Marriage Friendly, with better than neutrality toward the outcome of your life long love commitment. Shannon Batts is a Portland, Oregon counselor, with advanced skills, education and training in assisting couples (extremely rare among counselors). Lesbian, gay, trans, mixed gender identity, questioning gender, nonbinary, and straight couples of all ages seek out tools and support for their relationships from Shannon Batts. Shannon trains ongoingly to be antiracist and is a facilitator and consultant at Race Talks PDX. Transgender, Black Americans, or unhoused clients will find amazing flexibility in counseling rates if you need it because you've been through enough!


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www.couplesintransition.com
www.spousesgroup.com
www.spousesresourcecenter.com
www.spousesresourcecenter.org
www.relationshipgardening.com
all arrive at Relationship Gardening and Spouses Resource Center so as to increase options for couples facing gender transition to have excellent support for making it through transition together.
Couples with no LGBTQ identities also benefit by Relationship Gardening.


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Electronic/internet based communication is not a guarantee of privacy as it is always subject to security breach or hacking. You do maintain the right to email, text or video chat regardless of the risk.
 Shannon is the counselor's counselor where couples go to grow a happy marriage, with Gottman research based relationship and marriage help and telehealth video sessions. Clinical hypnosis available as Shannon completed the 100-Hour Comprehensive Training in Applying Clinical Hypnosis in Strategic Psychotherapy intensive by Dr. Michael Yapko. Marriage Counseling, marriage therapy, couple's therapy, couple's coaching, premarital counseling, help for transgender or non binary coming out in marriage, support for spouses of transgender or non binary partners, couples group for transgender partners and cisgender spouses, questioning gender in your marriage, gender affirming referral letters, marriage retreats, marriage workshops, antiracist coaching for engaged couples, antiracism groups for white people, antiracism couples groups, antiracism groups for professionals, custom antiracism groups, marriage affairs or adultery, porn or sex addiction or compulsion in your marriage, couples communication training-whatever you call it-make sure your best marriage counseling choice in CA, or in Portland, Oregon has Advanced Gottman Institute aka Relationship Research Institute training.  A Gottman trained therapist like Shannon Batts knows how to move couples from sticky negativity to a garden of new possibilities from the very first couples' session.  Services available by Zoom for all of CA and OR. Walking sessions for individual meetings. relationshipgardening.com spousesresourcecenter.com 

Photos used under Creative Commons from starsandspirals, frankieleon, starsandspirals, Jack Snell - USA