Support groups for the partners of someone in a mutually supportive marriage or long term relationship that comes out transgender (this includes non-binary) are rare. Spouses Group, launched in 2016, pre-pandemic, met in person and although members rolled on in from all directions, once even a 4 hour drive away, the offer was not reachable by the rest of Oregon and California. As a professional, my groups are offered to those in the states I am licensed in-thus CA and OR. Like most other counselors, I moved my services to virtual meetings aka telehealth, through Zoom video meetings. Voila! Now members are from as far south as San Diego, CA!
The other workaround is doing more Walk and Talks-individual sessions while walking. Walking is not offered for groups, obviously, but a big relief from the constant screen time, to expand the walking meetings for individuals now that nearly everything has gone to video meetings. Originally, years ago, my combat veteran clients and introverts especially preferred walking sessions-something I offered when their fidgeting and self soothing nonverbals where spiking. Turns out there are creative boosts and health benefits from walking meetings, and yes, the vets and others did feel better to talk while walking.
Lack of childcare was a constant barrier when in person-to the point that I hired someone to hang out with clients' kids when my office was in a 2 story house and I was the only one using it on the weekends. Many of my clients have children at home, from babies to teens. Virtual meetings are frustrating for school and work combos, but allow the parents to do sessions when kids are sleeping or occupied with a movie in another room. Several couples nearly to divorce, repaired their marriage because they could finally get going on their sessions via Zoom.
When a partner comes out trans, that first phase is super rough for many and having an accepting community to turn to that TOTALLY gets all the mixed feelings and grief, as well as can celebrate the breakthroughs-it is life and relationship saving!
Quite a few people transitioning gender and their spouses that have been in touch with me for relationship support are engineers, former military, IT, teachers, accountants, as well as lawyers, therapists and doctors. Not sure why these professions in particular-but there is a trend. All group members are prescreened.
If we could just get the word out---hmmm, wonder if that's you who can let others, other organizations, workplaces, social media circles and lists know of this by donation, totally supportive group?
Shannon Batts/she
Portland, OR
for CA and OR clients
relationshipgardening.com
spousesresourcecenter.org
couplescoach@gmail.com
The other workaround is doing more Walk and Talks-individual sessions while walking. Walking is not offered for groups, obviously, but a big relief from the constant screen time, to expand the walking meetings for individuals now that nearly everything has gone to video meetings. Originally, years ago, my combat veteran clients and introverts especially preferred walking sessions-something I offered when their fidgeting and self soothing nonverbals where spiking. Turns out there are creative boosts and health benefits from walking meetings, and yes, the vets and others did feel better to talk while walking.
Lack of childcare was a constant barrier when in person-to the point that I hired someone to hang out with clients' kids when my office was in a 2 story house and I was the only one using it on the weekends. Many of my clients have children at home, from babies to teens. Virtual meetings are frustrating for school and work combos, but allow the parents to do sessions when kids are sleeping or occupied with a movie in another room. Several couples nearly to divorce, repaired their marriage because they could finally get going on their sessions via Zoom.
When a partner comes out trans, that first phase is super rough for many and having an accepting community to turn to that TOTALLY gets all the mixed feelings and grief, as well as can celebrate the breakthroughs-it is life and relationship saving!
Quite a few people transitioning gender and their spouses that have been in touch with me for relationship support are engineers, former military, IT, teachers, accountants, as well as lawyers, therapists and doctors. Not sure why these professions in particular-but there is a trend. All group members are prescreened.
If we could just get the word out---hmmm, wonder if that's you who can let others, other organizations, workplaces, social media circles and lists know of this by donation, totally supportive group?
Shannon Batts/she
Portland, OR
for CA and OR clients
relationshipgardening.com
spousesresourcecenter.org
couplescoach@gmail.com
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