Couples in Transition is a new group at Relationship Gardening that I am incredible excited to lead. Who are these couples? Supportive Spouses from Spouses Group that are cisgender with a transgender partner are the ones who can apply to be in the Couples in Transition Group. Even though I have seen at least 40 supportive spouses that remained together and thriving in the last 3 years of my group, it is still rare to find spouses or couples groups that support this unique type of relationship. We are in the second batch in the couples group and are planning to have mega group check ins with all the rounds of couples groups after every new batch finishes their round. I am hoping this also leads to the Very Important Transition Couples Retreats I plan to lead!
Although these are not broke down relationships I provide along the way a bit of Gottman science informed coaching of ingredients and how tos that keep a marriage on long lasting, happy path.
Couples share about coming out challenges for both partners, living double lives, work and career issues, getting free of hiding, living stealth, navigating rejecting relatives, raising children, planning for children, grown children, trans children, all the emotions within the relationship be it guilt, pride and celebration, anxiety and worry, solidarity with each other and other couples in the group, job leads, practical tips (electrolysis, medical insurance, name changes), sex and intimacy, navigating what this event means to identity (lesbian or gay couples now perceived as het, or het couples now perceived as gay or lesbian, and the challenge of nonbinary identities), setting boundaries with rude or intrusive people, changes to the relationship that were unexpected lovely surprises, and sometimes the great places to go to coffee together in a safer space.
As usual in working with me, we laugh, we cry, we have tea and chocolate (not required). Then I get to feel like I really love leaving a legacy in my life's work of impacting family trees positively by being a catalyst for healthy marriages even when other therapists are still telling these clients that their relationships don't work. Sucky heteronormative therapy and attitudes towards them is what doesn't work.
Couples in Transition Groups bring these families out of isolation and more into community where they can be themselves, reduce suffering, expand the joy and grow that "have each other's back" feeling that is what trust feels like, not just in the marriages but also in their new community.
Although these are not broke down relationships I provide along the way a bit of Gottman science informed coaching of ingredients and how tos that keep a marriage on long lasting, happy path.
Couples share about coming out challenges for both partners, living double lives, work and career issues, getting free of hiding, living stealth, navigating rejecting relatives, raising children, planning for children, grown children, trans children, all the emotions within the relationship be it guilt, pride and celebration, anxiety and worry, solidarity with each other and other couples in the group, job leads, practical tips (electrolysis, medical insurance, name changes), sex and intimacy, navigating what this event means to identity (lesbian or gay couples now perceived as het, or het couples now perceived as gay or lesbian, and the challenge of nonbinary identities), setting boundaries with rude or intrusive people, changes to the relationship that were unexpected lovely surprises, and sometimes the great places to go to coffee together in a safer space.
As usual in working with me, we laugh, we cry, we have tea and chocolate (not required). Then I get to feel like I really love leaving a legacy in my life's work of impacting family trees positively by being a catalyst for healthy marriages even when other therapists are still telling these clients that their relationships don't work. Sucky heteronormative therapy and attitudes towards them is what doesn't work.
Couples in Transition Groups bring these families out of isolation and more into community where they can be themselves, reduce suffering, expand the joy and grow that "have each other's back" feeling that is what trust feels like, not just in the marriages but also in their new community.
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